Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom...
I have not posted bc things went from bad to VERY VERY bad. I think all the therapy and bringing up the past and trauma coupled with starting kindergarten and coming out of the crazy summer with two vacations did us in. YUP... we did it to ourselves. In hindsight as I write this I can see it oh, so very clearly. But, when I was knee deep in it. I thought we had lost our minds.
You see dealing with violent rages is scary. Yes, I said it and it is TRUE! Aggression is not something we want to have problems with. Neither is defiance, disrespect and anger. But, for the past 6 weeks that is all I have been getting from my RAD son. We were at our lowest point people. And, sadly I thought that we had hit the bottom before. Yuck... I really hope this one was the REAL bottom. I pray that something changes and we get it right this time.
We thought we had made progress with some things like Nancy Thomas... but I think we hit a point and were not progressing. I think it is our fault. We got caught up in the loss of privileges and the strictness and so it stopped working. Than at our lowest of lows we had to re-evaluate everything.
Have you ever had to be that honest with yourself. Really examine and figure out why YOU are the problem. Well I did it and so did hubby and we realized that we needed to have a clean slate. We needed to act as if our Sweet M* just came into our family. But, this time with the knowledge of his past. This time we were prepared. And, this time we were going to draw him close every time we spotted defiance, anger, fear etc... We were going to look at those downward spirals as opportunities to correct his distorted views.
Crazy... yes. But, I am hoping that this will allow all of us to move forward. Today was day 1. But, it went well. It feels better to me and hubby and I can tell M likes it better too! I am going to post progress and failures (including rages) so I can follow our progress.
We also might use the services of Walter Buenning. He comes into the homes of families with RAD kids and trains them how to handle the different behaviors.
Here's to regaining hope!