Hip Hip Hooray... I am narrowing that list down. I am just waiting on some friends referral letters, my tb test, go to the post office with my passport docs, and send it all to get authenticated. I am sooooo ready to be done with the paperwork, but I have recently become stressed with the age range I want to tell my placement agency. Our home study is for a boy 0-4 years.
I go back and forth whether I would like to have a broad age range and just see what comes. Or if I should be more picky and really narrow down a smaller range. Any one have any advice, or tips on how they decided on their age range. My bio kids are 6 1/2, 4 1/2, and 23 months. I would love your thoughts!!!
Sunday, August 2, 2009
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Hi! I have been reading your blog for awhile now. My husband and I are leaving August 19th to pick up our baby boy in Ethiopia! I can't believe it's finally happening! I don't know how much help I would be with your question about age range, but I figured I could share with you what we have learned through lots of adoption reading and other families we know in the process. Again, these are just thoughts and things we've read. Ultimately, whatever you decide for your family will be perfect! This is our first child so we didn't have to worry about birth order. But many in the adoption world say it's best not to adopt out of birth order. Some do it though and it's phenomenal! Since your little girl is the only girl, it would probably be fine to interfere her birth order (meaning she remains the youngest) since she's the only girl. But I would hesitate to interrupt your bio boys birth orders (meaning putting someone in between their ages, or older than both of them). Many people say it's not good to take their birth order spot in the family away. For example: if you are referred a child older than your first son, he now takes the first child position your bio son has had for over 6 years. this doesn't go well with certain kids. same if you put him between your bio boys. But again since your daughter is the only girl, you could put a boy above her and below your second son without really disrupting birth order. Or you could pick an age that makes a natural progession in a family, underneath your daughter as the baby. Again, we are embarking on our first child, so we don't have personal experience. This is just the info we've read and that some families we know have gone by. Just some thoughts! But again, God has the perfect little one for you no matter what you choose!
We, too, will be adopting our first children, but what I've heard about birth order is similar to the comments above.
The other thing I would add is that we were encouraged to broaden our age range in the home study to whatever we might be willing to consider, though we can still let our agency/social worker know our preferences. For example, our preference was for siblings 0-3, but we decided to expand it to 0-4 in the home study. We thought of expanding it more but decided as first time parents we don't want to deal with school issues right away and we would like to experience as many of their childhood stages as possible.
It's different for everyone, of course, and if you feel stuck, perhaps it's something you can discuss with your social worker.
Wow, you are making such great progress :) I would also suggest not disrupting the boys birth order. I think a little boy between your adorable little girl and your hilarious youngest boy would be great, or younger than your little girl. Your oldest is such a great big brother that he will do great as the leader of the pack:)
See you when we get back.
Hi Amber........adopting a toddler has been wonderful for us. Our age range was 18-36mo and Will was close to 36mo when he got home with us. When he got home with us his language was that of simple amheric words such as woosha for dog or shintebet for bathroom. He did not speak in long sentences. I have been completely amazed at his language development. He picks up things and remembers them and then uses them once told what something is. His receptive language is also incredible. I am soooo glad we got a toddler and I did not have to do the diapers/potty training thing and all the gadgets that go along with babies. He is so taken by so many things it is a complete joy! You can probably tell that from our blog! I too at first was a little concerned about the age thing, but after a while I did know that the right one was out there for us and he would be hand picked and sure enough... he is perfect for us and our family:) You can email me off blogland if you have any more toddler questions. my email is doodahsmom@juno.com
susan from susanandjeffrey.blogspot.com
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