Road Block

So, who ever said international adoption was easy??? Well, I know that no one in their right mind would say that... and I have been fair warned so my first little road block occurred this past weekend... frustrating to say the least.
Our home study has been going great we are finishing up collecting our final documents. When this past weekend we received a letter from our placement agency. They increased our fees by a pretty decent amount.
Well, I should say they increased everyone's fees that will receive a referral after mid July which is 6 months before we would even possibly see a referral. So, my dilemma is that I do not like the way that my agency has been handling this and now I have a choice. Being that I am in the beginning stages I would receive a refund all but my little application fee at this point if I decided to switch agencies. So, I have been back on all of my research groups scouring the agencies that I had in my top group to see if there is another agency that would fit my standards a little better. I am not saying that I will switch... I just feel compelled to at least take a breather and make sure that I am on the correct path.
I know that God has a plan and that if there is a little boy in Africa that is supposed to be our son... the day will come where we will bring him home. And, that is what comforts me now.
But, if any of you with more experience want to leave me some feedback I would be grateful!!!

Elias Sime & Friends!!!

Yesterday I was fortunate enough (thanks sweetie) to sneak away from work and my kiddos to enjoy a fun day with H & some new friends. We went to see the art exhibit where we met the Ethiopian artist Elias Sime... he is Ah-Mazing!!! All of his pieces were made with found materials it was incredible. And, did you read we were able to actually meet him... wowza!!! You can read more about Elias here... and you will notice I stole one of the above pics from Kat (thank you!!).

I had so much fun meeting the other adoptive and prospective adoptive parents (AP's and PAP's in the adoption world). Kat showed us around Little Ethiopia in LA and we were able to eat a traditional ethiopian meal at Messob. It looks a little funky yes, but it is delicious... mmmm!!! I can't wait to go back a group of AP's and PAP's meet there monthly to let the kids play and the adults chat... sounds like a good time to me.

On the adoption front Hubby and I have now been LiveScanned (basically lots of fingerprints) so were are dwindling the long list of paperwork to do's off our home study list... and we should be receiving the instructions for our dossier next week!!!

(Oh... the shoeless pic is b/c Tom's Shoes had a day without shoes yesterday)

Help for Mingi ("cursed") Children

The following video tugged at my heart while I was reading some adoption blogs today at lunch. It was posted here first, but I felt compelled to share. It made me want to pack up and go help. Please watch...


Drawn from Water from Drawn From Water on Vimeo.

Field Trip Fun!!!

Captain's Kindergarten Class (and the other kinder class at his school)
Meet Captain's friend D... he lives on the farm we visitedAbove is D's Backyard playground... what???--Amazing Right?

Captain loved holding all of the animals this is a hen

They learned how to brush horses

This is D's dad taking Captain on a pony ride

Yes, of course he has a zipline too!

Captain loved the peacock... which he called the peecot

Here are the best buddies!!!

So, this week flew by... as do most. We had a lot of fun on the field trip to D's farm. It was truly an amazing place. They raise cashmere goats and taught the kiddos all about farm life. They had goats, cows, pigs, dogs, kittens, a baby lamb, horses, ponies, chickens, chicks, alpacas, peacocks and ducks. And, this is just their home that they were coerced to hold a field trip on so needless to say we felt very lucky!!!
On the adoption front we completed our home study meeting which is a big mile stone in this lengthy process. We loved our social worker and we thought our interviews went great until we brought the kiddos in. For some reason (probably feeding off our nervous energy) they acted like crazy monsters... such is the life sometimes as a parent. So, I would not say that we were able to showcase our best parenting skills to our social worker. We will have to see what she writes in her report...yikes!!!

Home Study Ahead!!!

On the adoption front we have hit a couple little milestones... yay!!!
1) I have sent in enough paperwork that my social worker (whom I love) is coming to do our home study meeting next week. This is a big deal in our adoption world b/c it is a 4 hour meeting where she will interview Hubby and I together and alone, the kids and take a tour of our home to see if we are fit enough parents to add another little one to our crew. I am seriously kind of freaking out about cleaning my house and hoping that everything goes smoothly next week (the big day is Thursday).
2) I sent in the remaining paperwork and payment to my placement agency so that they can send us all of our dossier instructions. Basically, just more paperwork to complete. And, much of it coincides with paperwork that the home study agency needs. So, needless to say I am grateful that we have raised enough funds to get started on both at the same time. Which brings me to my next task which has been to raise more funds... and I am trying to be clever.
So far we have:
sold items on craigs list, sold some of the time share points that we owned, and booked a vacation for someone using our dvc points, gave up eating out (we didn't do much of it anyway so not a huge savings), gave up spending on wants-- now we only spend on the needs, and we also asked for donations during x-mas and our bdays in lieu of gifts. This has gotten us to about $6,000. The entire adoption will cost us about $20,000. But, we have time and more ideas.
Like the Yard Sale... so if you have any junk that you don't want lying around anymore... please consider donating it to us to sale at our yard sale. We will pick up and store anything you may have. We plan on having the sale this May.
And, if anyone out there has any more ideas please let me know :)

Did you Know???

Many of you receive updates of our pictures and happenings via email. But, did you know that you can log on at any time at www.ThisGivesMeHope.blogspot.com. You can view everything we have ever posted there.
(i.e. sweet pics from the past so you can see how much the kids have grown)

But, you can also learn a lot about the adoption process. On the left side of my blog you can click onto adoptive families who are already home with their Ethiopian children. You can also click on links to our agencies and our international pediatrician. And, there are links to some neat resources that I am using to help prepare myself and our family for our new child. Including the books we are currently reading on those topics.
Just a little info... Have a Great Weekend... and please keep Cousin M's health in your prayers.

Big Announcement!!!

Yes it is True... We are Adopting.

We have decided (quite awhile ago) to adopt from Ethiopia and we are requesting a healthy male child from 0-3 years old. Although, we have been told we most likely will be referred an infant b/c many children do not make it through infancy in Ethiopia.
We understand that to many this decision seems sudden, however Hubby and I have talked about adoption for years. We have looked into domestic, fost-to-adopt, and international. We have researched, read many books, watched webinars, joined adoption groups and spoken to many families who have already gone through the process. After much thought and some tiny events we feel that Ethiopia is where we have been lead.
The decision to adopt internationally and become a trans racial family is not for everyone and we understand that many people will question our sanity.
However, it is our belief that EVERY child deserves a loving family. And, we feel that although this may bring great challenges into our daily lives, it will be a rewarding experience in the end.
We understand that many of you will have questions for us in regards to our decision, and to help we have compiled a list of what we think would be FAQ:
This will be a starter and there will be more posts in the future with more detail for those interested.

1.) Why adopt from Africa when there are kids in the U.S. that need homes?
Hubby and I looked into all of the options. Every child deserves a loving family. We decided on a black male child first b/c in any scenario they were the least likely (healthy child) to be adopted. We looked into domestic, fost to adopt, and international. After learning about the pros and cons of each one we decided on international. And we felt led to adopt from Africa after reading about the AIDS crisis and working with the non-profit we teamed our business up with. There were some little events that also drew us to Africa and specifically Ethiopia.

2.) Why Ethiopia?
In Ethiopia one in ten children die before their first birthday• One in six children die before their fifth birthday• 44% of the population of Ethiopia is under 15 years old• 60% of children in Ethiopia are stunted because of malnutrition• 1.5 million people are infected with AIDS (6th highest in the world)• There are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia.• Per capita, Ethiopia receives less aid than any country in Africa• Need I say more?
Plus, Ethiopians have a great LOVE for their children. Many families who come back from ET talk about how loved each of the children are in the orphanages. After, a lot of research I have learned that one of the things that really makes a difference in an orphaned child's well being is the amount of love and attention they are given. They are poor but not unloved, and this also helped us in our decision. It is a very different scenario than the Russian institutions.
Also, after some research I learned a little fun fact... that Ethiopia and Armenia (Hubby's half Armenian) were both labeled heretics at one of Constantine' s Councils (I believe the Council of Nicea) and to this day they are the only two left that still hold the same values...so I feel like the Ethiopian people almost culturally would be similar to our family's Armenian side. (ex. both celebrate Little Christmas-- so guess what from now on we will be celebrating a Armenian/ Ethiopian Dinner every Little Christmas to celebrate the two cultures for anyone interested in joining)

3.) Why adopt, at all?
From the beginning of our relationship Hubby and I have discussed the desire for a large family. In these discussions we always talked about adoption as an option knowing that there are so many children in need of loving families. We wanted to try and have a boy and a girl biologically and once we had Belle and the doctors told us another pregnancy would be risky we decided it was now time to adopt.

4.) They have AIDS in Africa, aren't you concerned your child will have AIDS?
In the paperwork process you are able to define what health concerns you are willing to consider. We have chosen NOT to adopt a child that is HIV+. We will receive what is called a "referral" for a child. And, the referral will have the child's medical records and test results for HIV, Hepetitis, TB, Venereal diseases, etc... The child will be re-tested for HIV upon exiting the country. Although, we are very happy that our agency is one of the few agencies that assists in placing HIV+ children with families that are capable of giving them everything that they need. AHOPE is a home to many of these innocent victims and we hope to be able to sponsor one of these children in the future.

5.) Aren't you worried about the risks involved?
Hubby and I have researched the world of adoption like I mentioned. We joined PEAR (Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform), have read countless books, joined adoption support groups and spoken to many families that have already have or are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia. We have learned about the risks involved as well as our rights as adoptive parents. From the knowledge we gained we have chosen a highly recommended agency who has been in Ethiopia for years and we feel confident in our understanding of the process... its ups and downs and the fact that anything can change at any given moment. So, yes the risks are scary, but we feel that this is something we were led to do and we feel like the end result will be fulfilling... and we are preparing ourselves for the hardships.


6.) Where are you in the process, and what is the process?
We have applied and have been approved by our adoption placement agency, they work with us both here in the U.S. and in Ethiopia. They will refer us our child and help us through the court process. We have also applied and been approved by our home study agency, they will prepare our home study report, match us with a social worker and do our background checks and interviews. And, we have started on our home study paperwork, medical checks, fingerprints & background checks. We are also starting our petition to parent an orphan child with Immigration.
.
Step 1- Paperwork
The paperwork process begins with both our home study agency preparing our home study report. And, our placement agency preparing our dossier which is a bunch of paperwork compiled for the Ethiopian court authenticated and notarized stating that we are fit and legally allowed to bring home an orphaned child. This process will take between 2-6 months. We also have to apply to USCIS (immigration) to be approved to bring an orphan child into the US.
Step 2- Wait...Wait...Wait!
After sending in our life on paper we will be placed on a waiting list with our placement agency. Our agency has told us that once our dossier is in ET we can expect a 4-6 month wait for a referral of a child that matches our desires.
Step 3- The Referral
We will receive a phone call from our agency and they will inform us about the child they have in mind for us. We will be given the child's medical reports a few photos and the reason they came into care. We will have the medical reports read by several different physicians including a renowned pediatrician in NY (Dr. Aronson) that specializes in international adoption and has herself adopted from Ethiopia.
Based on the physicians reports we will accept or decline the referral.
Step 4- Court
After accepting the referral the placement agency will schedule a court date. This usually occurs anywhere from 2-4 months after the referral. And, the courts in ET are closed from Aug.- Oct. every year due to rain. It is very common to not make it through court the first time. If you do not you have to wait again until your next court date. Once you finally pass court the child is legally yours in the eyes of ET.
Step 5- Travel
After we pass court we will be given our Embassy appointment and travel dates. These are usually 2-8 weeks after passing court. Hubby and I would love to travel together but have not made our final decision. We are looking into going together, having Hubby travel alone, or having the child escorted to the U.S. by our Agency's Staff.

7.) What types of problems do the children commonly come home with?
Children are healthy in 3rd world standards which means they often come home with minor to severe infections, parasites and/or lice. They also will be suffering from grief and loss and will have some sort of attachment issues that we will have to tend to. If they are older there will be a language barrier... although they do learn basic English at the orphanage. We will have the support of our local pediatrician (who has experience with international adopted children), our social worker, our adoption support groups and a specialist at our placement agency.

8.) You cannot adopt/ save every orphan child, why not just sponsor one?
Although, you cannot save every child in the world you can significantly make a difference in the world of one child. We always wanted four children and this is our way of adding that missing piece in our lives. We have always felt that this was something we were meant to do. And, we have already begun sponsoring many children through our work with Water 1st we are helping children receive the most basic need of water. Water 1st has projects in Honduras, India, Bangladesh and Ethiopia. And, we also plan to advocate for orphan children and support them for the rest of our lives.

9.) How much does it cost?
Our adoption will probably cost about $20,000 after all our agency fees, paperwork, notaries, foreign fees, travel or escort fees, etc... We will be saving money, selling items etc... to cover our upfront costs and expenses.

10.) Are you crazy???
The best answer is probably yes.

From the book of James...
"Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father means that we must care for orphans, and widows in their troubles, and refuse to let the world corrupt us."