One week ago we learned our sweet boys story and saw his face for the first time... I am still overwhelmed with joy.
It is amazing how much I love my sweet boy already. Especially, when I think back to the weekend before my referral when I was stressing over the what if's... like what if I don't feel love when I see his picture? The truth is I don't think I did feel love when I saw his picture. I saw an adorable little boy, I was told a sad story and I was all over the place with my emotions. I did not anticipate all of the mixed emotions this awaited call would bring. The whole referral call is such a weird experience. I felt like I was dreaming or like I was watching myself go through it but it did not feel like I was actually there. I suppose it's uncharted territory... even though you know what is going to happen it feels so unreal when it finally happens to you.
For those of you waiting and worrying about the what if's I will say that the first night I don't think it was LOVE that I felt... it was just too overwhelming. However, when I woke up not only was I in LOVE, but I missed my boy. It felt like he had always been here, but he was away and I was awaiting his return. I know weird right?
My husband described it best he said... when we sit down to eat together it feels odd now- someone else belongs at our table. And, it is not just us that feels this way... on Saturday we were getting ready to go to Disneyland and Belle said "not without my M*"... I explained that it is still going to be awhile until he comes home and then she said, "okay M* is in the car?" ugh... This wait is going to be tough.
So, what are we doing??? Well today we finally received our official referral package so we rushed around getting stuff signed and notarized. We made it to Fedex so it will be in WACAP's hands tomorrow. We were excited bc we had a short video clip that was included with the package. Really it is only like 10 seconds, but I am grateful for any glimpse of M*'s current life.
Today we also got a few pricks in our arms in preparations for traveling to Ethiopia. We will still have to get a few more. And, as you see above we also were able to put together M*'s care package. YIPEEE!!!!! It was harder than I thought it would be to squeeze the items into the required gallon ziplock baggie. Let me tell you-- a gallon baggie is so much smaller than you would think... ugh!!! I am hoping some travelling families will be kind enough to take a few other little items in the next weeks to come. (wink** wink**)
So, what did I include in the care package...
Well, my kids really like themes, so the boys chose a Cars theme (the movie). M*'s going to get a little Cars t-shirt, a few toy cars, a plush Lightning McQueen, some Lightning McQueen lollipop's, and Cars stickers.
I also put together a photo album with lots of pictures. I put pictures of M*, of us holding his picture, and a lot of different pictures of us, our home, and the kids. I hope that by seeing so many pictures he can kind of get an idea of who we are. I can't imagine how a child absorbs this process. I labeled the pictures and WACAP says they will have someone sit with M* and explain the pictures to him. I hope he likes it??? I also was excited b/c I found a card at Hallmark that allows you to record a message so we recorded a little message for him so he can hear our voices. The song also plays the Jackson 5- I'll be there song which seemed fitting. It was harder than I expected to put the care package together though bc I'm so worried about what his first impression of us will be. I hope it puts a smile on his face. I can't wait to hear that he has received it.