Why Does it Have to Be SO Hard?

This weekend STUNK! Things were going good until dinner out on Friday night. It had been a good week and we wanted to go have fun with the kids. I am not sure what happened but as soon as we entered the restaurant Sweet M* was OFF. He pulled away when I tried to bring him close, he was extra hyper and sensitive and he was in the mood where he truly believes EVERYONE is out to get him or is against him. I tried with all my might and we got through dinner, but hubby took the boys to the restroom and I think he got mad at M*. In our world that means you are asking for it. And, "it" is what we got.

I tried to draw him in and even though we had to leave and did not go to the mall playground as the kids were hoping (do to M* bawling) we still drove the kids to sonic and got them some slushies. We tried to snuggle up for a low key movie night but M* couldn't handle it. He ended up having to go to bed early.

Saturday came around and I could tell hubby was spent. FYI: This was our weekend off but it was my mom's birthday so I decided to keep Sweet M* and switch with my mom for next weekend. I don't think it was a wise choice. It sounds crazy I am sure but I know that part of our recent success has been bc we get a break. And, I think the break helps Sweet M* a ton too. He gets my parents undivided attention. They go to the beach or community pool, play, laugh and most importantly my parents remind M* about how lucky he is to have such great parents and about how much we love him. He comes home renewed and refreshed and it is FANTASTIC!!! Oh, it also really helps hubby and I with the guilt we have for the other three. They put up with A LOT and they are so good to M* that it feels nice to be able to give them the attention that we desperately always want to but can't bc we are too busy trying to help M* heal.

Back to Saturday. I knew hubby was exhausted and annoyed so I tried to help. I tried continually to draw Sweet M* close and love on him. To look deep into his eyes... I tried the chin touch. I tried holding him as he screamed and cried and I did so without ever loosing my patience. But, hubby decided it was enough. He came in and he actually helped M* out of his mood. M* does not push hubby like he pushes me. So, hubby talked to M* and for the rest of the weekend we kept very tight boundaries. We controlled every situation and hubby still poured on the love... BUT I had to back off. I don't get why this works but it does. And, although hubby and I are exhausted after this weekend... I think we still did a kick butt job. We did not lose our temper and we kept trying to connect. I don't think we are completely out of the woods. M* is still a little off but hopefully we will get him back in a few days.